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Studies show …

November 9, 2009

I’m not proud of it; just being factual.  I watched nearly 14 hours of C-SPAN this past Saturday.  I got some other around-the-house chores done, but there’s was a lot of watching, too.  Remember the old quip:  There’s two things you never want to watch being made – sausage and the law?  It’s true.  There’s a lot of strange noises, friction, and it’ll turn the most galvanized of stomachs.  I’ve heard that making meat links is similar.

As the congressional members made their remarks, there were many “studies” cited.  Not so much cited but rather referenced with those generic first words, “Studies show …”  I learned that day that “studies have shown:”  that nearly all Americans are demanding health care reform;  that 85% of people have insurance and 85% of people like it;  that there’s not as much as money to be saved through medical malpractice reform as some would like to believe;  that the U.S. ranks unbelievably low in the world’s health care rankings; that we have the best health care system in the world;  that if we don’t do something, everyone will be dead in five years;  ad nauseum … literally.

How about this?  A new law that any official “study” that is performed must be performed by a disinterested party, at least six times removed from the subject of the study or any potentially-benefiting industry.  Don’t tell me about the recently released study by the Society of Guys Named Fred about how great the name “Fred” is.  How about a study on Health Care Quality in America by the Association of Independent Hermits?  Or a study on the economic impacts of a carbon tax by the Western States Fancy Dog Sweater Consortium?  Or a study on the socio-economic results of the eight largest mass transit systems by the Amish-Mennonite Collaborative for Wooden Playgrounds?

We’re talking credibility here.  Imagine the inspired credulity as you make your final convincing argument on the absolute and tragic consequences if we, as a nation, do not invoke a world-wide commodities and derivatives market for the sacred and life-giving invisible gas CO2 which we exhale or otherwise induce into the fragile environment through our greedy nature … sorry, let me get back on track.  So you make your point (incorrectly) that cap-and-trade or a carbon tax is good for America and hold in your hand, as if you are standing on bedrock, the recent study by the Confederation of Old-Timey Carnival Games Enthusiasts.  What angle could they have?

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5 Comments
  1. LOU permalink
    November 10, 2009 6:53 pm

    HUGO, YOU LOOK LIKE SOME ONE THAT USED TO WORK IN A STONE QUARRY IN THE EARLY 90’s NEXT TO MY HOME. NO, I MUST BE MISTAKEN YOU FOR SOMEBODY ELSE. BY ANY CHANCE DID YOU EVER RIDE A MUD & SNOW SCRAMBLE IN NY? MAYBE IT IS YOU.

  2. Hugo permalink*
    November 10, 2009 10:52 pm

    If you’re talking about the meanest, leanest, strongenest rock pounding rock pounder of them all, ’tis me, SpringMan. Good to see yas. You are definitely the kind of freak we need in Hugoville. There is something strange about this: the 2nd to last line in the cranial essay you commented on above makes reference to the “old-timey carnival games.” There was some type of store-front/ commercial trailer not too far from that quarry that distributed carnival games or prizes. I used to drive by it every day. I thought of that place when I wrote that line; then my mind wandered up that road right up to your old dojo and I had a quick thought about you. Strange indeed. But that’s how we like it here.

  3. Jessie permalink
    November 10, 2009 11:28 pm

    Greetings Sir Hugo,
    My, my, my!Hugo, you sound just a tad bit too full of coffee and double-stacked peanut butter cups, and although I’ve never seen sausage being made I can tell you that watching hot dogs being made is no picnic!

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